Socialized

You're not sure about this. She's pretty, but… you're not sure if you can actually get into all of… that stuff. Kissing has been nice and it was frankly kind of incredible to feel someone other than yourself touching your sensitive, barely-developed breasts, but… you've never done anything involving pain in this kind of a context before. Well, technically you've never done that other stuff before either, but you'd at least fantasized about it, for years. Those daydreams never involved cuffs, or riding crops.

Your thoughts are cut short by the feeling of leather brushing against your exposed rear. Your heart is pounding in your ears, teeth grinding as you stare down at your cuffed wrists on the floor in front of you. You keep reminding yourself that you negotiated this, that you agreed on a safeword, that you can stop if it's too much.

"I think you're about ready, yes?"

You try to answer, but your voice catches in your throat. All you can manage is a small nod. She chuckles, running a hand through your hair a few times before gripping it firmly, swatting the crop against your rear. You let out a high-pitched squeak at the sudden sting, blushing redder than you already were. Looks like your voice is back. The spot where the loop came into contact with your skin is already starting to feel warm. Just as you're coming to terms with the first impact, a second arrives. Slightly harder. This time you manage to keep quiet, gritting your teeth against the lingering sensation. Then another, sooner than the last. This one squeezes another yelp out of you, and a flinch. You can already feel her adjusting her grip to hold you in place better, preparing for another swing. You can't keep going with this. Your shoulders slump down as you burst out, "Juniper!" Your safeword.

She freezes a moment, before placing a hand on your chin and pulling it up to look at her. "Did you just safeword? Already?" You look away quickly and nod. "I barely even touched you!"

"I mean, sure I guess, but-"

"Look at me. You know I've been looking forward to this all week? And 3 swats is all you've got in you?"

You struggle to meet her gaze, your eyes unaccountably resisting every step of the way. You've never been good at maintaining eye contact when stressed. "W-well, I told you I've never done anything like this before, I don't think it's-"

"EXACTLY! You barely even gave it a chance!"

"Yeah but-"

"But WHAT?"

"I was… reading about, some of this stuff, online… about how it's really important to maintain boundaries and make sure you're comfortab-"

"Sorry, are you trying to explain kink to me? When this is literally your first scene?"

"Wh- I-I just…"

"LOOK AT ME! And answer the question!"

"I'm- No, I just don't feel-"

"Right, you don't feel comfortable. How very MASCULINE of you, prioritizing your own comfort over everyone else in the room and then trying to explain my own kinks to me as if I don't know what I'm doing." As she says this, she pokes at your stomach with the riding crop for emphasis.

"I- Wh- I don't under-"

"Of course you don't! You've been a girl for, what, a month? Still running around with all that male entitlement clogging up your head." She gives your face a light swat with the crop. It doesn't really hurt, but it's terrifying. You're suddenly very aware that your wrists are still cuffed.

"I'm not- I just don't think I want to-"

"Oh, because it's all about what you want, right? Never mind everything I've already been doing for you. Kissing, grinding, touching your swollen pecs. But now that it's something that I want to do, suddenly you're not up for it. Why are all of you like this all the time?" At this point you're blinking back tears. There's a voice in the back of your head screaming at you to hold firm, but it gets quieter and quieter as you begin to crumble. As the first tear rolls down your face, you hang your head and choke out a mumbled apology.

"That's more like it." She places a foot on your back, between your shoulder blades. "Back on your hands and knees." You comply, and she takes her foot off you, kneeling down to scritch behind your ear. "That's a good girl~ Of course, I'm sure you know, that little outburst has earned you some extra punishment."